Sometimes it's torture

For the most part I love my job. There are times however, that I do not. Puppetry is one of those times. I teach Puppeting to 3rd graders and while most elementary students today are lacking imagination, it seems that the 3rd graders at my school are lacking the most. My word, if I have to see one more puppet show about Red Riding Hood that ends in every puppet eating each other, I might lose it. I have no idea how to encourage imagination...even when I tell them to just "play" they don't know how. Today took the cake, when Little Red arrived at Grammy's she asked "Geez Grammy, why didn't you just order take-out?"

All I could manage...

It's Wordless Wednesday, It's my 100th post and I haven't posted in over 2 weeks, so this one needs to be special. 12 years ago yesterday one of my best friends gave birth to the sweetest little boy in the world. At the time, I had no intention of having my own children and doting on this special guy was enough. I have watched him grow over the years and have been as proud as if I had borne him myself. Logan, your Titi loves you so much and is so proud of the young man you have become.

Got me

Dallas was making this horrible high pitched squeal in the car today. I yelled backward "Dallas---that is the most obnoxious sound I've ever heard" He grinned at me and said "I know, isn't it?" and of course....he did it again.

3 years

Well, you lost your turn.

I know this is Wordless Wednesday, but this is priceless. Addi was fighting her brother to sing the song by herself. She yelled at him to stop singing the ENTIRE song and well, she lost her turn.

Take Care of Your Family

I pulled into the parking lot that Tuesday morning in the same way I had for the last 2 years, except this time, something was different.
I had spent all Monday night dealing with a pukey kid. Dallas had inexplicablly began puking on the way home from school. I was pregnant with Addison and the smell had me at my wits end. I was very thankful that my coworker carpooled with me and took care of him and the mess. I called my mother after dropping Stephanie off. Her and my father were out of town in San Antonio. I told her that Dallas kept throwing up and asked her when they would be home. They were in the middle of the meeting and so she whispered in a hurry that they would be back Tuesday morning. I got off the phone embarassed for calling and interrupting their meeting and wishing that they would just hurry home tonight. At that moment, nothing would have made me feel better than my parents being nearby to help me with Dallas.
We got home to the delicious smell of Bean Soup in the crockpot. Of course, with all the sights and smells I had on my journey home, I wanted nothing to do with it. I laid on the couch with my son in arms and tried to comfort him in between bouts of vomit. Finally, just before 1:00am, he stopped throwing up as mysteriously as he had started. I looked at Jayson and sad "Honey, I have a big day tomorrow, I have got to go to bed, will you please stay down here with him in case he throws up again?" Jayson said yes and I went up to bed. I had a restless night, no dinner and a baby twirling around in my belly to boot. I wondered if I, too, was going to get the stomach bug that had plagued my son.
The next morning came too quickly, in order to be at my job in time, I usually leave the house aroun 5:45a.m. We put Dallas in the car armed with trash bags and paper towels just in case.I picked up Stephanie and headed to Irving. I was so hungry from the night before that right before I got to Dallas' babysitter's house, I stopped at the donut shop for my favorite pregnancy treat, an eclair.
I pulled into the parking lot that Tuesday morning in the same way I had for the last 2 years, except this time, something was different. Marta's door was wide open and I thought I saw my sister Debbie. I wondered what she was doing there at 6:00 in the morning. My lack of sleep couldn't comprehend what she could be doing there and I got out and told Stephanie to wait. I walked to the door apprehensively because now I knew for sure it was Debbie and Pastor Mcfarland (my father's coworker) and Jackie (my mother's best friend) What was going on? Debbie looked at me and started to talk. "It's Dad..." she started to cry. In that moment, I thought for sure that my parents had been in a car accident. I remembered the hurried phone call with my mom and I was sure that they had been coming back from San Antonio for me. "It's Dad... she continued, her voice breaking. "He's had a massive heart attack, he's dead" Those words, once out, brought me to my knees. I don't really remember the next part because its more painful than I care to remember. All I do know is that somehow my life had changed in an instant with those stupid words.
I can no longer eat Bean soup, a chocolate eclair, I can't stand the first Tuesday in March, I worry myself sick when my son throws up and I miss my Dad every Fucking Day (It's okay, he told me once I could say that word if I really was hurt).

Donkey

Dallas can spell. This is a fact that I can no longer ignore. Sunday night, I told Jayson that he needed to bathe Dallas because he smelled like a.s.s. (yes, I spelled it) and Dallas asked "I smell like ass? Why do I smell like ass? Mommy, I don't smell smell like ass, you smell like ass!"

Clarity

I'm writing this mostly for me. It is long and winded. You are obviously welcome to read it, but remember it is mostly for me. :)

There are a lot of things that I do not remember well. Sometimes, I don't remember what I wore yesterday or what I ate last week. There is however a time in my life that I remember with such clarity that it seems surreal. Three years ago this weekend was the last weekend of my father's life. My father lived relatively close to me and although we didn't spend every weekend together, we did spend a lot of time together. His last weekend was one that we did and now I am so thankful for the memories created that day.
My parents were going to sell their house! Sell their house and move closer to me. We had spent weeks searching websites for homes for sale in my area and had found one on MarbleArch Dr. (see how that memory works?) We looked at it over and over again on the website wondering what it might look like in reality.My Dad made an appointment to see it on Saturday, he asked me to go with them. (I never felt more loved then when my Dad wanted my opinion on something) On Friday, My Dad asked me to look for the house in advance and see how far it was from Irving (where he worked) and how far it was from my house (10 minutes!!). I called him laughing hysterically because I was so lost in that subdivision and he went online (he lived by his computer) and google mapped me out of there. But not before I found the house and said a silent prayer of thanks that my Dad was going to live so close to me (and to a BRAND NEW Target!). I was due to have my second baby in the next couple of months and I knew that Dallas would benefit from having his grandparents so close.
That Saturday, Jayson had to work and so Dallas and I waited for Abi (his name for Dad) to arrive. When they arrived, late as usual, Dad asked me to drive his car since I already knew where the house was. I live on a peninsula and in the year and a half that I had lived in my house, my parents had never seen the lake. So, that beautiful morning, I crossed over Joe Pool Lake. As we crossed the bridge that goes over the lake, my Dad smiled and said "This reminds me of Florida" I looked at him and said "I know! That's why we live here".
We arrived at the house before the realtor and we couldn't wait to get in. We waited all together in the car snacking on Chewy Runts (pregnancy craving) until my Dad said "I'm going to go look." He got out and I can hardly write this because I remember it so clearly (and it kind of makes me cry a little bit). He walked to the front door of this house and was looking around when all of a sudden I saw a quick shadow over him. He ran back to the car and said "Did you see that?" We all said "What?" I had seen it, but it seemed like a trick on my mind. He said "A hawk just flew into that house!" We all looked at him and then burst into laughter "A hawk? Are you Serious?" He started laughing then and we just couldn't get it together. For some reason, we started postulating all these incredible scenes of Hawks taking residence in this house and we couldn't stop. Tears were flowing from laughing so hard.
At one point (No, the realtor was not there yet) Dad reached into his pocket and he pulled out a keyring with 3 keys on it. He said "Where did these come from?" "Ummm, Dad those are your pants, how do you not know what those keys are?" He said "I really don't, I wore these pants on Thursday to ESL and these keys were NOT in them" I looked at him straight faced and said "Maybe the hawk put them there" Which brought us all to tears and laughter again. (Note: To this day, we don't know where the keys came from. They were all the same, there were 3 of them and that's all we know. They didn't belong to the house, the church, and had no brand on them. If there was a book about Dad's life and it needed symbolism, I would say the 3 keys symbolized The Trinity. Some have said, it signified his 3 daughters. I don't know what they were, but he was adamant he did not know and that they just appeared)
The car was warm with laughter and the smell of fruit when the realtor arrived.
We got out of the car and walked into the house. My father fell in love with it immediately. He kept saying "I can see myself here...I can see myself here". I seriously can not hear those words without crying. He seemed so sure. I wanted him to be sure. There was a deep pool and his first concern was for his sweet Dallas. He wondered aloud where to buy a gate to put around the pool. We left the house with excitement and a new found appreciation of hawks. My father confident that the sellers would accept his offer.
We parted ways briefly. My sister Debbie and I had hair appointments and Dallas was going to spend the day in his favorite way; with his grandparents.
Later that afternoon, when I went to pick Dallas up, I found my father in the kitchen. He was preparing dinner. (note: this is really hard to write) He turned to me and said "You can stay for dinner, but you can't eat this" (he was making beef) "I know, I have to get home anyway to make dinner for Jayson" My Dad did something very unprecedented, he came and gave me a long hug. I swear on the life of my children that something made me not want to let him go and like a child I said out loud "I don't want to go" and Dad said "You need to go feed your family, call me when you get home". (A weird request from him, in hindsight a last gift for me)
I left that evening never knowing that that would be the last time I saw my Papi. I can feel the warmth of his arms around me still, His breath in my hair as he told me to call him when I got home.
I got home and called the house and my Dad ANSWERED THE PHONE. (Those who knew him will understand how weird that is)"Dad, I'm home safe and sound" "Good, thanks for calling" "Ok Dad, Love you" "I love you too, Elizabeth, Now go and take care of your family" (My father was not demonstrative in sharing his love, these words haunt and thrill me at the same time)
A couple of days later, "Go and take care of your family" would mean something completely different to me.

My Secret Admirer

I'm sorry

I don't really have a tantrum today. But, I do have a confession.
Lady in the Silver Toyota Highlander at the movie theatre. I lied to you. I did open my car door and bump your car. I did not hit it with my behind as I might have said to you. I'm really sorry. Next time, do not yell at me through your window. Got it?

Every little thing she does is magic....

Addi is killing me slowly. When I was pregnant with her my father promised me that my daughter would look just like me. I fully expected to give birth to a little me with brown hair and eyes...with a little Dora the Explorer haircut. Instead, I got the above...She's absolutely precious, but not what I envisioned. However, when she opens her mouth, I know exactly what my father meant. She IS just like me...she's fiesty, hard-headed and says the first thing that comes to her head. Love this kid...who with every witty that comes out of her mouth kills me just a little bit. Because, I know what's coming......

Asleep at the meal

Needs Instruction Manual

Sorry, I missed Thursday. Not that I didn't have a story, I was simply exhausted. I'm doing a musical and trying to cast that and teach and be a mom, a taxi cab driver, a chef, a good friend, a contributing member of society....well, it was just exhausting. So, I skipped it.
Well, this is a whole new week, let's see what I accomplish.
Frick! Being a mom is the toughest job ever. I love my children and am blessed by them in my life. One aspect I did not expect as a mom was that I would feel the need to protect them from any harm or danger. I don't want ANYONE to hurt my kids and will hurt ANYONE who hurts them. But, lately, I've been finding myself in situations where I just want to bust somebody up. Usually, it's other 5 year olds. There's a whole lot more I'd like to say on the subject, but one day this will be read by my kids and the only theme I want them to take from it is that I love them fiercly.

5 years ago, 2 little boys met

That's right Lady...Keep Walking!

Sometimes, I have absolutely no no no no patience for people. This week has been very trying for many reasons (Yes, I am aware it is only Tuesday) but today was particularly annoying. At the end of the day, I stand at the back of the school and help dismiss Kindergarten. Earlier this year, we had a problem with parents parking in the fire lane. After being very agressive about this problem, we rarely have issue anymore. Except for TODAY! As a lady got out of her PT Cruiser (a whole other issue) she left her car running in the fire lane. As she collected her baggage (I mean child) I told her she couldn't park in the fire lane. She looks at me and in a huff says "Well, it's still running so it's not parked." I looked at her and said "It doesn't matter, you still can't leave it in the fire lane." So she repeated (I guess in case I didn't hear her) "It's still running so it's not parked." So, I just stopped her in her tracks and said "Well, oddly enough, fire trucks are still running when the firemen get here to fight a fire they won't be able to get to because you're in their spot." Needless to say, she didn't say a word, grabbed (I mean really she yanked her around like a suitcase) her child and stormed away. The best part? She was SO pissed at me that she kept walking IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION OF HER CAR! So, she had to do the walk of shame all the way back to her car.

Sharpie-dressed Man

I learned early on as a mother that if the kid is too quiet, they are up to no good. You wanna know how I learned that? When Dallas was not quite 2 years old, I left him alone in the office while I cleaned up a little bit. (To be fair, we were in a small apartment and the office was the playroom)
I didn't hear him making his regular playing sounds...so I walked in to the office and saw that he had taken a Sharpie permanent marker and colored all over my computer screen! When I said "Who did this?" He quickly raised his hand and said "Me".

He'll come get you too....

This morning a kindergartener came into drama class very loudly and said "Have you seen my sister today?" The following is a transcript of our transcript of our conversation. (Yes, I took notes)

Me: No, Why?

Girl: She was bit by a dragon.

Me: What?

Girl: A dragon, a dragon bit her right on the hand. (motions to her hand)

Me: Where?

Girl: On her hand!

Me: No, Where did this happen?

Girl: In her bed.

Me: When?

Girl: Tomorrow.

Me: Tomorrow? It hasn't happened yet?

Girl: No, it happened tomorrow, when she was sleeping.

Me: Why?

Girl: He was mad. He came in the window and he bit her.

Me: What did he look like?

Girl: He was red and bleedy.

Me: So, you saw him?

Girl: Yes, the whole family saw him and we had to run away.

Random Boy: I saw him too!

Me: How?

Random Boy: I live in that apartment.

Girl: He does, but the dragon just went away after he bit her. I guess he was just mad.

Me: OK....let's take attendance, shall we?

Sweetness

Beans! Beans! They're good for your heart!

This Thursday is International Night at my school and I am making Black Beans to represent mi orgullo Cubano. One of my favorite recipes for this is by my friend Kikita and when I made them last year, they were very well received. So, I am so ready to make them again this year. This afternoon, I went into the grocery store to buy my (shhhh) canned black beans. As I filled my cart with cans, I noticed that one of them had different colored numbers on the top of the can. I looked at the dates and sure enough, 9 of the cans had an expiration date of Nov 2011, but the 1 odd can had an expiration date of October 2008!!!! I couldn't believe it. I went to the employee working in the aisle and showed her the date. She didn't even act shocked. She simply put the can in her cart and said to me "Well, that's why you need to check the dates."

Fine, I'll play!

I'm a little behind on my post goal, can you tell? Anyway, yesterday was a sick day at our house and when the Ibuprofen kicked in, the kids were doing just fine. In one of those rare moments, Dallas and Addi decided to make a "store" in their room. They wanted me to come play with them. Of course, I didn't want to. But Dallas tried everything to get me to go in there. "Mommy, everything is zero cents", "Mommy, I have your favorite color marbles", "Mommy, we take credit cards" Bless his heart, he tried everything. Finally, he comes in with a little piece of paper and says "Mommy, I know you can't say no to this....here's a coupon!"

Introducing...

Last week, I had a student tell me that his mother was having a baby. Of course, as is usually the case-every other student had to tell me that their mother was having a baby too. One little boy raised his hand. "My mommy is having a baby too...and guess what her name is going to be? Mrs. Prouty!"

Dinner?

Awareness

Today, I ran into Kroger for a last minute purchase. Since I only had 1 item, I quickly secured my spot in the 15 items or less aisle. I was paying for my item (It was Veg-All, all right? Geesh!) when the cashier looks at the man 2 people behind me and his completely full cart and says "Sir, I believe you have too much." The man responded "You don't know how to count." Now, that alone is cause for me to say something as his cart was clearly TOO FULL. But, I stayed out of it because it really wasn't my business. The man then continues "Did you mean in my cart or around my belly?" The cashier said "In your cart." And the man KEEPS GOING "Well, I was gonna say, you're one to talk.....SKINNY." Now, unfortunately, my cashier was very, very overweight. I just wanted to crawl into my skin, but then in an amazing display of complete lack of self awareness or a quick thinking self-protection act, my cashier says "I wish...I just had surgery and I lost 15 pounds and I know I need to lose a little more..." And she went on and on.

By this time, I'm just standing there completely amazed and disgusted at this man who felt it was his right to not just attack her intelligence but her physical appearance. ESPECIALLY when he obviously was not the smartest or the healthiest based on the amount of bagged chips in his cart. UGH! I feel pretty bad for not saying anything. What would you have done?

Kiss My Grits

This morning I was on the phone with one of BFF's Michelle Wells Farmer (maybe you've heard of her). I was multitasking by talking on the phone, making my bed and feeding my kids all at the same time. I made 2 cereal bowls and 2 chocolate milks and carried them to the kids when I heard Dallas. What he said made me turn around with a quickness. Very seriously he says to me "Excuse me, but I didn't order this." I laughed at him and said "This isn't a restaurant, sorry buddy." Michelle heard the exchange and while laughing she says that I should tell him to "Kiss my Grits" (A spectacular reference to one of my old favorite shows, Alice) Of course I do. Dallas looks at me very confused and Addi says "I'll kiss your grits!"

Because it's Necessary

Robert

Last year, at this time, I was waiting with bated breath for my phone to ring. I was waiting to hear that my sister was progressing in labor of her son. Of course, I waited all day to no avail as babies seem to have their own timeline. Later that evening, my youngest sister called to tell me it was happening soon and that since she was in the room (and I obviously wasn't), that she would hold the phone up and let me hear his birth. Now, as I write this, my nose tickles....this is my sign that this memory is going to make me cry a little bit. It was super simple for Debbie to hold up that phone, it cost her nothing. But, to me....being so far away as my first nephew was born....it was worth millions. I GOT TO HEAR his first breath in this world, his first cry. His cries joined with mine as a welcomed Robert Joseph came into the world. Thanks to technology, I received a text message with his picture within minutes of his birth and short of smelling him, I really felt I was there. Oh, how he was longed for! Oh, how he'd been prayed for! Oh, how loved he is!
I didn't get to actually hold R.J. until he was about 4 months old. My body wrought with sobs, I held him close. He so closely resembled my father that I thought for sure that the twinkling eyes WERE that of my dad and that now I had to choose a religion that believed in reincarnation. This little man, so sweet and soft, MY NEPHEW. He turns 1 today and again, I can't be there to celebrate his birth. But webcams, pictures and phone calls will help me be there in absentia and that will be okay.

Happy Birthday Robert Joseph. Your Tia loves you very much!

What's fancy to you isn't to me

So, today I was trying to explain characterization and how we have to pretend to be like someone else. A good example of that is when you're in a place that you have to behave differently. For example....a church, a classroom, a circus. So, I had them pantomime opening a present. First, they did it as themselves. Most of them acted crazy opening it. Then, I had them do it as a child who has never had a present before. Last, I had them pretend to open it as if it was a gift given to them by their very rich grandparents and they are opening it in a fancy restaurant. When, I began the lesson, I imagined opening it at a country club, or at Nieman's cafe or the top of the Stratosphere. Well, apparently this is not what some of my students as I was asked "Do you mean like Olive Garden?"

***edited to say that by no means did I mean to sound condescending or do I look down on anyone who considers Olive Garden fancy. It just strikes me sometimes just how different my school kiddos are.

My first love

Honestly

I can not even begin to describe how irritating it is to take a shower with your kids staring through the glass doors as if you're in some sort of demented peep show.

Mama Monday: He's got a point

In my home this weekend there was a lot of talk about our trip to New Orleans this summer. You see, this July is our church's youth gathering and I am on the planning committee. I am super excited for my children to experience a youth gathering at a young age and see what they have to look forward to. It isn't often you get to be in a place with over 25,000 youth in attendance, all of whom BELIEVE the same thing. It's pretty awesome and overwhelming. Another reason that I'm really anxious about sharing this with Dallas specifically is that when I was pregnant with him and I walked into a mass event I felt him move for the first time. He was moving in response to the loud music. To this day, my boy loves music and singing and I know that the gathering was were he was first exposed to it. So, I want to see his 5 year old face light up when he walks into the superdome and experiences it again. Oh, I'm just all goose-bumpy thinking about it.

This weekend as we are talking about it; I mention that I'm excited for the kids to experience a new city....New Orleans. One of my goals as a parent is to have my kids visit lots of places as my parents did for me. Dallas hears this and says "New Orleans sounds good, but I want to experience Chicago"

Because it's necessary

Theatre Thursday: Put a ring on it

I have a couple of classes that are classes and a 1/3 which means it's a full class (20-24) and another 1/3 of another class. Today, four 3rd graders arrived before the full class. I told them they could chill a little bit before the class could arrive. I heard them get on the stage and start singing "Put a Ring on It" by Beyonce. This alone was fine until I turned around and saw all 4 doing the dance that goes with it. Have you seen it? Not hysterical when Beyonce does it; but side-splitting when it's done by four 9 year olds.

Wordless Wednesday: Why I can breathe in and out

Seriously????

You CAN'T just squeeze a tube of toothpaste anymore? I really have to spend $19.95 for that. Idiots will buy anything (editorial disclaimer: If you have bought this, you are not an idiot, so please let me know how this neat little gadget works for you)

https://www.buytouchnbrush.com

If you're Happy and You Know it.

I don't know if I'm raising a pleaser or what; but lately all my girl can ask me is if I'm happy. She will get really close to my face and say "You happy, Mommy?" and she will repeat it and scream it until I yell "Yes, I'm Happy!!!!" to which she replies "Then I'm happy too!" and goes along her merry way.
I figured out how to use this to my advantage. When she is doing something I don't care for, I look at her and say "I'm not happy" and then she gets very serious and stops the bad behavior.
If that doesn't work I deny her some cake.
Hey! Whatever it takes is my motto.

New Posts

Yeh, Yeh, Yeh...I'm gonna try to post more often in 2010.
But, seriously, I think I'm gonna aim for Monday-Thursday. My busiest, but most bloggable days.
Mondays will be = Mama Mondays (posts about my sweet little monsters and the hilarity that ensues.
Tuesdays will be = Tantrum Tuesdays (posts about stuff that's getting me all pissed off)
Wednesdays will be = Wordless Wednesdays (where the picture will say it all)
Thursdays will be = Theatre Thursdays (posts from the drama that is my drama classroom)

This is my goal and I'm already behind one day.