Take Care of Your Family

I pulled into the parking lot that Tuesday morning in the same way I had for the last 2 years, except this time, something was different.
I had spent all Monday night dealing with a pukey kid. Dallas had inexplicablly began puking on the way home from school. I was pregnant with Addison and the smell had me at my wits end. I was very thankful that my coworker carpooled with me and took care of him and the mess. I called my mother after dropping Stephanie off. Her and my father were out of town in San Antonio. I told her that Dallas kept throwing up and asked her when they would be home. They were in the middle of the meeting and so she whispered in a hurry that they would be back Tuesday morning. I got off the phone embarassed for calling and interrupting their meeting and wishing that they would just hurry home tonight. At that moment, nothing would have made me feel better than my parents being nearby to help me with Dallas.
We got home to the delicious smell of Bean Soup in the crockpot. Of course, with all the sights and smells I had on my journey home, I wanted nothing to do with it. I laid on the couch with my son in arms and tried to comfort him in between bouts of vomit. Finally, just before 1:00am, he stopped throwing up as mysteriously as he had started. I looked at Jayson and sad "Honey, I have a big day tomorrow, I have got to go to bed, will you please stay down here with him in case he throws up again?" Jayson said yes and I went up to bed. I had a restless night, no dinner and a baby twirling around in my belly to boot. I wondered if I, too, was going to get the stomach bug that had plagued my son.
The next morning came too quickly, in order to be at my job in time, I usually leave the house aroun 5:45a.m. We put Dallas in the car armed with trash bags and paper towels just in case.I picked up Stephanie and headed to Irving. I was so hungry from the night before that right before I got to Dallas' babysitter's house, I stopped at the donut shop for my favorite pregnancy treat, an eclair.
I pulled into the parking lot that Tuesday morning in the same way I had for the last 2 years, except this time, something was different. Marta's door was wide open and I thought I saw my sister Debbie. I wondered what she was doing there at 6:00 in the morning. My lack of sleep couldn't comprehend what she could be doing there and I got out and told Stephanie to wait. I walked to the door apprehensively because now I knew for sure it was Debbie and Pastor Mcfarland (my father's coworker) and Jackie (my mother's best friend) What was going on? Debbie looked at me and started to talk. "It's Dad..." she started to cry. In that moment, I thought for sure that my parents had been in a car accident. I remembered the hurried phone call with my mom and I was sure that they had been coming back from San Antonio for me. "It's Dad... she continued, her voice breaking. "He's had a massive heart attack, he's dead" Those words, once out, brought me to my knees. I don't really remember the next part because its more painful than I care to remember. All I do know is that somehow my life had changed in an instant with those stupid words.
I can no longer eat Bean soup, a chocolate eclair, I can't stand the first Tuesday in March, I worry myself sick when my son throws up and I miss my Dad every Fucking Day (It's okay, he told me once I could say that word if I really was hurt).